Secret Insides

Ok. I'll admit it. I am fascinated with other peoples spaces. You know this if I've ever been over to your house. I feel compelled to touch everything. To look at every book you have. To examine every piece of art you've put on your wall. And thus began "Secret Insides"- a quick little study of other peoples spaces. I remember being surprised at how many people still have "sitting rooms" and "parlors" and also how many bathrooms I went in that could easily have qualified as "powder rooms."  

This photo was taken in Ogden when I was photographing my fathers close friends, Ella and Ellen. Ella and her husband were like a second set of parents to my father. Richard worked at Hill Air Force Base with Dad, he died the same month I was born. Ella said she remembered driving by the base at lunch and crying when she saw Dad eating alone after Richard died. Ellen is a devout Jehovah's Witness, and has committed her life to service-especially to her mother, who now requires round-the-clock care. When she moved in there wasn't room for her bedroom set in the bedroom. So she set it up in the living room. 

This was in a narrow little back staircase in a bed and breakfast in Redlands. I was on my way up to photograph a bride getting ready for the ceremony when I noticed the reflection off these frames had essentially erased the portraits.

Oliva

 Olivia is the kind of kid you want to brag about, even if she's not yours. She's incredibly bright-one of those kids that is as eager to discuss the book she's reading as the science project she'd worked on.  (And she seemed quite interested in my explanation of how light was measured in stops, which, of course, I found endearing.)

 She's also an amazing singer and has recently begun songwriting. (Don't you get the sense that she's going to take the world by storm?) Olivia auditioned Saturday for a local production of "Hairspray." The director had asked for b/w headshots (unusual these days) but I think it really works for Olivia and that gorgeous hair.

Ok...one more, just because the whole family is so cute. Olivia and sister Calla with their puppies this last December.....

A Map of the World

A friend of mine had this tattooed recently- after traveling to China, Israel, and Ireland. Her intent being to chronicle her travels by eventually coloring in all the countries she'd travelled to. A map of the world-with all of it's careful (and sometimes arbitrary) delineations of customs and culture. The entire globe and all of it's people encapsulated on a single persons skin.

But the metaphor expands. I've been thinking about this photo shoot (initially intended as an exercise for Dave and I to figure out how to split the strobes) every time I listen to the news.

Japan, Libya, Egypt. My heart breaks-and soars. Every crisis giving way to hope. A baby found amidst the rubble, a grandfather clinging to a scrap of his  home, a people being heard by their own government and the rest of the world. And this is the human condition; we survive, and we make meaning from what we've survived. 

Chop wood, carry water

Chop wood. Carry Water
-Zen proverb


Work. Always work. Pull weeds, wash dishes, change the laundry. Process film, grade papers, print. Feed the animals, make dinner.  Read. read. read. Write, write. write. Work.

And this is true; work should be a mediation and a song.

When I am working on needlecraft, I am meditating on the love I learned from my Grandfather, the steel-worker who taught me to knit and crochet.  When I am weeding or planting, I am meditating on the hours of love my parents spent in our garden growing up. When I am photographing or editing I am grateful ten-thousand times for the gift of seeing.

Pretty/Strong

I loved this portrait setting. Denise hadn't had her portrait made in years-but she'd been a model in high school. At six feet (and then add the heels!) she still holds herself like a model. She had some specific ideas about the "look" she wanted.

What I most enjoyed about the session was the conversation-we talked about how all women deserve to feel beautiful. Denise is beautiful-and strong and wise.

I'm not 18. And I'm not a size 6. And I often hesitate to have my photograph taken ( and I dread that 3-sided mirror in a dressing room). And as we discussed the stereotypes of women, Denise reminded me that no one has to fit into the media-ideal body type to pretty. Not a bad lesson.  Thanks Denise.

Digital Doorbell Ditch-Valentines Day

When we were little we spent hours addressing cards to every kid in class. And hours making our Valentines boxes to bring ours home in. (My favorite was my fifth grade box that was covered in aluminum foil and had three-dimensional hearts all over....it was amazing that anyone could figure out where to put the cards.) Then, when we got home from school we would make cookies and pack up Valentines cards with those nasty, chalky conversation hearts and head out into the neighborhood.

If we loved you (or our Mom told us we ought to include you) we put our treats on your doorstep, rang the doorbell, and ran like hell. This is how I thought everyone celebrated Valentines Day. I have since learned that this is not the case-but it hasn't stopped me (actually, quite far into adulthood) from doorbell ditching Valentines treats.

So. How do you doorbell ditch your loved ones scattered across the world? Dave and I made had so much fun making our Christmas cards this year in the studio we decided that we would make Valentines cards too. Happy Valentines day! Consider this our digital doorbell ditch to all of our friends and family.

Ok...last one. This is for my jaded friends who are not exactly thrilled about an entire day celebrating the artifice of love. 

Invincible Summer

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."  Albert Camus

Yesterday I turned the compost into the beds that will be home to our tomatoes this year. (What a delightful chore; rich and loamy soil has a wonderful feel and smell.) And every time I am working in the garden in January or February I can't help but be amazed. For a girl from Utah, February is the depths of winter (and yes, I know that isn't exactly what Camus meant, but I can't help but think of this time of year as my invincible summer) And yesterday, on February 5th, the apricot tree bloomed....and is already teeming with bees. 

What an amazing gift. To be able to spend almost every day of the year outside. Even though I have lived here for 12 years, I have resisted calling myself a Californian; I wanted nothing to do with the smog and the traffic and the strip malls and the suburbs and the suburbs and the suburbs. 


But I was wrong. There are suburbs and strip malls everywhere. And also apricot trees.